I Took My Ball and Went Home

I had not posted here because I am embarrassed about my lack of progress to my goal that I had so publicly shared. Have you ever noticed that social media seems to be the highlight reel of peoples lives? You’ll see the trip to Disneyland but not the one to the drunk tank? In the last six months I have been about as productive in triathlon as Donald Trump has been as curbing racism. It’s because of this lack of progress that I didn’t want to show to all the internet (i.e. the two people that read this) that I had failed very miserably. But just like Trump I could turn things around, maybe.

So six months ago I got an injury that would not allow me to run without great pain in my leg. It was because of this I quit training all together. I could still swim, bike, cross-train, everything. I quit everything. Eating properly, journalling, meditating, yoga, writing my blog… the list goes on. I took my ball and went home because if I cant do the kick-off I don’t want to play. I just realized now how childish I am.

Then a few months ago my injury got worse as I noticed that I couldn’t cycle. I noticed because it was getting painful to walk and I thought it may be worse so for the first time in a long time I thought I would test the bike. It wasn’t like I was going out to pound some kilometers out on the bike, nay nay. The pain had increased and I actually hoped that I couldn’t cycle. I hoped that this had gotten worse so that I had a better excuse to not do anything. Now I wouldn’t be able to cycle because I couldn’t rather than I wouldn’t. I’m sorry, I can’t make this funny because this part is just sad.

I go to the doctor and she refers me to a sports medicine doctor. Lots of ibuprofen and physio was the fix. Do you think I took the ibuprofen in the regularity that the doctor said? No. As for physio it took me a month to get to a physiotherapist. Then once I had gone I didn’t do any of the work and only went to the one appointment. Not only did I take my ball and go home, at this point I took my ball, went home, and stabbed holes in it, and threw out my shoes so I couldn’t play.

Did I have so much fear that I would fail that I decided that I would not even try? Yes.

But the stars have aligned, I heard a dog bark, a cat meow, and my stomach grumble at the same time, so I was compelled to write something on here again.

I wish I had a ball to play with.

One Reply to “I Took My Ball and Went Home”

  1. There is always a learning at the end of the trail! So you popped your ball…. get a new one. I battle that same thing daily as I scroll through instagram. I see people out, going to the gym or shooting their bows getting ready for hunting season. I always have the thought in my head telling me “they don’t have 3 kids, they don’t work normal jobs, they are sponsored” but the reality is “I” need to find that time, “I”need to stop making excuses! Is it easy to find time to do that stuff? Nope. So we always have the availability to do what we want? Nope. But we all just need to do the best with what we have and make our lives what we want.
    Now saying that. Have I went to the gym in the last 2 years? Nope. But have I gone for hikes? Yes. Do I go shoot my bow early in the morning before the kids wake up? Yup. Because I want to be a successful hunter one day and that is what I need to do.
    Go get a ball and play with it if that’s what u want to do. It may not be the ball you want, but it’s still a ball!

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